The Infatuation Ingredients
by SergeantFuzzyBoots
Summary: This is a story about how Penny slowly began to fall for Leonard during season two. It covers her thoughts from Maternal Capacitance to The Electric Can Opner Fluctuation. Rated T to be safe.
1. Maternal Capacitance

Penny collapsed onto her couch, letting out a loud sigh. She felt really bad, not just because she'd consumed too much alcohol, but because . . . . .well, that was the main reason for her feeling bad: she didn't know why she felt bad. Was it because Leonard had told her that she was trying to have sex with her father? No, that had been really annoying to hear, but no.

_Leonard really needs to learn about the importance of quiet time_ thought Penny. _Leonard!_ He was definitely connected to the bad feeling! But, if it wasn't because of what he'd said, then what was it. She wasn't made at him . . . .well, she was a little mad at him, but that wasn't it. But then, what was the feeling? Not anger? Not sadness-but she was on the right track with that!- if not sadness, then . . . .disappointment? It was something like that . . . . .was it longing?

"Yes! That's it!" shouted Penny, immediately clapping her hands over her mouth in surprise at having shouted.

She was feeling longing, disappointment and it was connected to Leonard, but how? And why was she feeling this way.

Penny attempted to succumb to her longing, trying to understand what it was she wanted so badly. She closed her eyes and laid her head against the arm of her couch. She envisioned herself back in her bed, back under the covers and very comfortable. Then, Leonard was there. He was there, back in bed with her, continuing what they had started earlier. She was kissing his neck again, his cheeks, his forehead, and then his lips-

_Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No, n-n-n-no! _Penny sat up, shaking her head. What was she doing? She couldn't think of Leonard like that, not that way, he was her friend, nothing more . . . . even if she had just made out with him in her bed-that was besides the point! And she was drunk! That had to count for something!

_Yeah, yeah, that's it _Penny sighed. _That's it, Penny, you're just hammered, really, really hammered, that's what's causing all these thoughts, these crazy, crazy thoughts._

But, still, she didn't think that being intoxicated was the sole reason for her imagination running a little too wild. Because she wanted Leonard back, she wanted to finish what they'd started; she wanted to kiss him again.

_No! No you do not want to do that! No. . . . .maybe a little-no! Ugh, just shut up, Penny! Just take an aspirin and stop thinking about stupid Leonard!_

Penny exited her apartment, her head aching, and saw Mrs. Hofstader halting a hug between her and Leonard. She felt sympathy for Leonard as he stepped away from his mother. All he wanted was some love from his parents and his own mother couldn't even manage to give him a proper hug.

Penny sighed and approached the mother and son, reluctant to begin the discussion she had in mind for her and Leonard.

"Oh, hey, look I was just coming over to talk to you-

"You don't have to . . . . .ever!" Leonard pleaded.

"Gotcha," Penny sighed with relief. But the feeling didn't last. She really did want to talk to Leonard about what happened, but she got the feeling that this wasn't the right time.

"Ah, slugger, shall we pick up where we left off?"

Beverly's voice jolted Penny from her thoughts and onto new problems as she began to discuss her father's lack of acceptance of her.


	2. The Cushion Saturation

**Hey, thanks to everyone who reviewed, sorry this one is really long, Leonard and Penny had a lot of scenes together in this episode, not that anyone's complaining about that. Oh, and I don't own anything.........drat!**

"Come on, come on!" Penny groaned, while jiggling her laptop's mouse around in an attempt to get a response. Her laptop had froze while she was shoe shopping, putting an end to her pleasant afternoon. "I'll have to go see if Leonard can fix it."

Penny and Leonard hadn't discussed what had transpired between them since the morning his mother had left, and things were back to normal. Well, not entirely back to normal. Since then Penny had thought about Leonard more than usual, whenever she was over she caught herself staring at him for no apparent reason, and some nights she would have dreams about him. And usually the dreams consisted of her and Leonard engaging in similar activities to the ones they'd been doing the night his mother was visiting.

Penny had told herself repeatedly that they were just dreams and that didn't mean anything. Sometimes when they were really freaking her out she would go for broke and try to convince herself that she was upset about the situation with her father and Leonard's whole theory was just coming into play there. However, she knew that wasn't the case.

Penny entered the hallway and was about to knock and Leonard and Sheldon's door, but she stopped. She pressed her ear up against the door and listened intently.

"Leonard!" Sheldon called.

"What is it Sheldon, has the mother ship come to take you home?" asked Leonard.

"Not today," Sheldon sighed. "No, what I have here is a web page with numerous facts on the African civet cat, now I thought you might want to look it over and further educate yourself, since today at lunch you didn't even know that the African civet cat is not a true cat. I believe this will save you from further embarrassment. As for not embarrassing yourself due to lack of knowledge on other subjects, well, I'm afraid I can't help you there."

"Wow, isn't that thoughtful," said Leonard sarcastically.

"I thought so," agreed Sheldon. "Some facts in here are also excellent conversation starters. For example, if you were to encounter a moment of awkward silence while in Penny's company, you could break said awkward silence by saying, "Penny, did you know that the glands that produce the musky smelling mating call of the African civet cat is used in the production of perfume?" And of course, a person like Penny is the perfect person to use this sort of conversation starter on because you can be certain she'll have absolutely no knowledge on the subject, and therefore be intrigued by the information."

Penny frowned.

"Yes, thank you, Sheldon, I can already hear her reply, "Leonard, did _you_ know that _that is the creepiest thing I've ever heard!_"

"Why would she consider that creepy? It has to do with the production of perfume, perfume is a product women like to purchase and apply. Tell me at what point does the conversation become "creepy"?" asked Sheldon.

"Didn't you say you had to go to the comic bookstore?" Leonard asked.

"Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me. I just have to retrieve some money from my bedroom and then I'll go obtain the new _Flash_."

Penny sighed with relief. Wolowitz wasn't there. She didn't want to go over when Howard was there because the last time she'd seen him he'd told a very disturbing story about taking his mother to the laser clinic.

Penny knocked on the door. Leonard answered, and her heart beat a little faster when she saw his smiling face.

"Hey, Penny," said Leonard. "Having laptop trouble?"

"Yeah, and this time I swear I didn't spill anything on it!"

"I'll take a look at it," he said, taking the computer out of her arms and heading over to his armchair.

"The whole thing froze," whined Penny as she watched over Leonard's shoulder. "I don't know what happened!"

"Well, calm down, we'll figure it out."

"How can I calm down?" she asked, sinking down into Sheldon's spot. "I'm gonna lose my whole shopping cart! That's three hours of picking out shoes just shot to hell!"

"Hello, Penny," said Sheldon as he entered the living room.

"Hello, Sheldon," Penny sighed, leaning over to try and get a better look at what Leonard was doing.

"You're in my spot."

"Are you planning on sitting here?"

"No, I'm going to the comic bookstore."

"Then what difference does it make?" asked Penny, really not in the mood for an argument with Sheldon, while her precious shoes were on the line.

"What difference does it make?"

_Oh, Penny now you've done it!_

"Here we go," said Leonard, practically voicing her thoughts.

"That is my spot. In an ever-changing world it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a four dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot, at the moment I first sat on it would be zero, zero, zero, zero."

"What?" asked Penny, having really heard the absurd amount of zeroes at the end.

"Don't sit in his spot," Leonard muttered.

"Fine," sighed Penny, slightly annoyed that even Leonard was making her move. "Happy?"

"I'm not unhappy," said Sheldon, exiting the apartment.

"Boy, I love him but he is one serious whackadoodle," Penny sighed.

"Okay, that should do it," said Leonard triumphantly.

"Oh, thank you! You are a life saver!" exclaimed Penny, running over to see her laptop.

It was very true; Leonard was a life saver, but not just for fixing her laptop. Time and time again he'd always bailed her out, whether it was fixing something or giving her advice, he was always there for her, and she was only noticing now what an important part of her life he'd become in the past two years.

"That's a lot of shoes you ordered," Leonard commented, snapping Penny out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, you know the sad thing is, it's really not," she admitted.

Penny looked around the apartment, not wanting to get caught up thinking about Leonard again, especially when Leonard was only about a foot away from her. She noticed a paintball gun on the table next to the couch, and snatched it up, to start a new topic.

"Oooh, is this one of those paintball guns?"

"Yeah, you outta come with us sometime."

"Oh, no thanks, I'm from Nebraska, when we shoot things it's because we wanna eat 'em or make them leave our boyfriends alone," she said smiling at him.

Leonard chuckled and smiled back. Something about his grin and his sweet laugh made her feel hot and caused her heart to beat faster. This was not a good thing because it caused her to press too hard on the trigger of the gun, which shot a bright, green pellet at the couch and splattered all over Sheldon's spot.

Penny watched anxiously, while Leonard scrubbed furiously away at the paint stain. Of all the spots that the paintball could've landed on that couch why had it landed on _Sheldon's_ spot? On to make matters worse, she'd made herself look totally stupid in front of Leonard.

"Do you think he'll notice?" Penny asked worriedly.

"There's a chance," replied Leonard sarcastically.

"What are we gonna do?" Penny asked.

"We?"

Penny stared at Leonard incredulously. Where was life saver Leonard? That guy that fixed everything?

"No, no, no, you've had your chance to be we for like a year and a half now. Right now you are you and you are screwed!"

Penny sighed in exasperation. What annoyed her most was that she couldn't blame Leonard. She couldn't expect him to take the fall for her problems like he was some expendable object, even she had expected him to in similar circumstances, which he had agreed to. However, this was Sheldon they were dealing with, so perhaps it was slightly more frightening than Kurt.

"Why do we have to tell him I did it?" Penny asked.

"Well, we're not gonna tell him I did it."

"Well, okay, okay," said Penny, scrambling to think of an idea that didn't end with Sheldon hanging _all_ of her possessions off a telephone wire. "How about this? We tell him, someone broke in!"

Penny nodded to Leonard in satisfaction, who stared at her incredulously.

"Just to shoot the couch with a paintball gun?"

_Ugh, I can't believe he just ruined my brilliant plan!.......Although he's got a point a guess......_

"I'm sorry, I'd buy it, all these people are on drugs!" said Penny, trying to save herself from looking like a complete idiot.

"We could tell him they wanted the couch to stay away from their boyfriends," suggested Leonard.

"Okay, well . . . . ." Penny once again was left to think of an idea. _Why do I have to come up with the plans here? _He's_ the genius!_ "Why don't we just flip it over?"

Penny ran to Sheldon's spot and flipped over the cushion. "There, looks fine, right?"

"Hmm, butt print. There's no discernible butt print."

Penny sighed. "Oh, come on!" Why did Leonard always have to point it out when a plan lacked logic?

She sank down on the couch and began moving around in attempt to make a _discernible butt print. _

"There, butt print."

"It's too small and too . . .perfect."

Penny's heart melted and she felt hot again. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome!" said Leonard, giving her that fast heart rate inducing smile again.

At that point Sheldon entered, and Penny smacked Leonard's chest, saying, "Shh! Act normal!"

"Sheldon!" Leonard shouted.

_Real smooth, Leonard!_

So Sheldon had discovered that his spot had been stained and he had found it was Penny's doing, thanks to Leonard. So, Penny had been forced to get the cushion cleaned and was now on her way up the stairs to return it.

Penny knocked on the door and Leonard answered, causing Penny to have another hot flash.

_I really need to get this under control!_

"Here you go, fresh from the cleaner's, good as new!" said Penny.

"Oh really? Great!" said Leonard. "Sheldon, look , good as new!"

"From that key maker I highly doubt it."

"Come on, Sheldon, just give it a try!" Penny pleaded, wanting more than anything to be done with this whole mess.

"Alright," Sheldon sighed, getting up from where he was perched on the couch.

"There, nice and comfy cozy, zero, zero, zero," said Penny as she put the cushion back in its place.

"There's one more zero. You forgot the time parameter."

"Sit on the damn the couch!" cried Penny, proceeding to go and stand next to Leonard as Sheldon prepared to test out his clean cushion.

Once the whackadoodle had finally plucked up the courage to actually sit on the couch, he quickly stood back up saying, "Nope!"

Penny sighed in frustration. "What do you mean "nope" what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, it's what's wrong with him!" said Leonard.

"Look, it's exactly the same!"

"Penny, Penny, I think I know what to do," sighed Leonard, putting his hand her shoulder. Penny glanced down at it and smiled.

"Sheldon, I have some bad news," said Leonard.

"More?"

"Afraid so. You know the cashew chicken I get you on Monday nights?"

"Yes, from Szechuan Palace."

"Szechuan Palace closed two years ago."

Penny's eyes widened. Leonard was actually making up some random story that messed up Sheldon's routine just so she could get off with ruining that cushion?

_Aw! He's willing to ruin Sheldon's life for me!_

"But, our food always comes in Szechuan Palace containers!" Sheldon-who was now sitting in his spot- protested, as Penny re-entered the conversation.

"Yeah, well, before they went out of business I bought four thousand containers. I keep them in the trunk of my car."

"Oh, this changes everything!" sighed Sheldon.

Penny came up behind Leonard as he sat on the arm rest on the other side of the couch and laid her hands on his shoulders, absentmindedly stroking him with her fingers. She couldn't believe he'd done that for her. He'd lied to his best friend for her!

"I thought that might take his mind off the cushion," explained Leonard, flashing her that smile that drove her wild again.

"You did make that up, right?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I wish I had," sighed Leonard.

Penny froze in shock. He'd really done all that for her. He'd ruined a perfect ruse he'd created just to distract Sheldon for her. He really was her life saver. Life Saver Leonard, her amazing friend.....or perhaps more than that. Penny still had yet to understand this whole "we" situation with Leonard as she continued to stroke his shoulders when he collapsed onto the couch because Sheldon still didn't like the cushion. However, she did understand that she was really enjoying letting her hands rest on him.

"Alright, first of all, Penny thanks for coming," said Leonard, as he crouched down next to Penny in the paintball shed with the rest of the team.

"Thanks for the shoes," said Penny, noticing how good Leonard looked in his paintball uniform.

_Hey! Come on, Penny, this is war! Get your act together!_

"Then we'll all have a great view as Penny runs out and kills everyone in sight," Leonard finished. Having been so caught up looking at him, Penny had missed his battle strategy, but whatever, apparently all she had to do was shoot everyone and that was easy enough.

Suddenly, Penny heard a lot bang, and the next thing she knew she was being hit by a paintball pellet straight from Sheldon's gun.

"What the hell?" cried Penny.

"That was for my cushion!" said Sheldon.

"Sheldon, Penny was our only chance!" said Leonard.

"I'm sorry, Leonard, but revenge is a dish best served cold!"

"Screw that," said Penny, fed up with the whole cushion situation. She quickly proceeded to shoot Sheldon, feeling very good as she did so.

Leonard smiled and nodded to her, and Penny's heart skipped a beat again when he gave her that smile.

"She can't shoot me, she's dead!" protested Sheldon.

"He's right, you can't," sighed Leonard. Suddenly, Leonard began shooting Sheldon down with his paintball gun, and Penny smiled at the fact that he was willing to shoot Sheldon for her. Her little Life Saver Leonard.


	3. The Terminator Decoupling

**Hey, everyone, sorry about the long wait for this chapter, it was kind of a complicated episode. And thank you to all of my reviewers. Again, I don't own anything, not even Kim, I stole her from The Gothowitz Deviation episode. And thank you webuiltthepyramids for teaching me how to use page breaks.**

Penny rummaged through her closet, pulling aside shoes and other items-some she couldn't even remember buying-in search of a suitcase. Leonard had asked if she had a small one he could borrow for a trip he and the other guys were going on to San Francisco.

"Wow, I really wish Sheldon had cleaned up in here, too," mumbled Penny, having no luck finding the suitcase.

Suddenly, Penny was being knocked to the ground by a big, pink, flowery rectangle, which fell from the top shelf of her closet.

"There's the suitcase," Penny groaned as she pulled it off her chest. "The things I do for Leonard. I hope he appreciates this."

Although, that was somewhat doubtful considering the suitcase was really meant for girls-_four year-old girls_, actually.

_Well, it's not like he's going to San Francisco to meet women, so this suitcase shouldn't be a problem._ For some reason this thought sent a sense of relief shooting through Penny.

Penny picked up the suitcase and headed back over to Leonard and Sheldon's.

"Here you go, Leonard," said Penny. "Is this gonna be big enough?"

"Oh, that's perfect," replied Leonard, coming over to take the suitcase.

"For taking daffodils to your unicorn," said Howard.

"It's just for my notebooks. Thanks, Penny," said Leonard, smiling at her.

"Oh, I love San Francisco," Penny sighed as she sat down on the arm rest of the couch. "I wish I was going with you."

"I understand your envy," said Sheldon. "This is a can't miss symposium. There are going to be discussions on bioorganic cellular computer devices, the advancement...."

Sheldon continued talking, but Penny didn't really pay attention. She'd stopped caring about what excited the whackadoodle a long time ago. It was usually best to make a nice comeback once Sheldon had shut up.

"When I go I usually just get hammered and then ride the cable cars," she explained once he'd finished.

"This conference is kind of a big thing," said Leonard, sitting in his chair. "The key note address is being delivered by George Smoot."

Penny found that the way Leonard's face lit up, while talking about this guy was sort of amusing and cute, so she thought she'd tease him a little.

"Oh my God, _the_ George Smoot?"

"Oh, you've heard of him?" asked Leonard, getting excited.

"Of course, I haven't."

Leonard's face fell slightly, realizing he'd gotten caught in Penny's joke.

"George Smoot is a Nobel-prize winning physicist....."

Penny zoned out again, as Sheldon began to give her every detail on Mr. Smoot. _Hmm, that's a bit of an odd last name._

"It's kind of a funny name, though: _Smoot_," said Penny, voicing her thoughts once Sheldon had finished.

"It's like talking to a chimp."

Penny frowned. Couldn't she ever have a conversation with Sheldon where she wasn't insulted........yeah, no, probably not.

"Okay, now that I've been completely insulted, have a good flight," said Penny, standing up to leave.

"Yeah, I wish," Leonard sighed.

"We're not flying, we're taking the train," said Sheldon, his eyes lighting up.

"Oh, cool," Penny lied. It took about ten hours to get to San Francisco by train; she was now very happy that she would not be going with the guys on their trip. _Well, either way, you're trapped in an enclosed space with Sheldon, so I guess both options really suck._

"Yeah, cool," said Howard sarcastically. "Seven times as long as flying and costs almost twice as much."

"Well, then why are you doing it?"

"Well, we had a vote," explained Leonard. "Three of us voted for airplane, Sheldon voted for train, so we're taking the train."

_Of course._

"Don't say it like that, Leonard. Say it like, "We're taking the train!"" Sheldon said, his voice rich with excitement. Penny was also convinced that she could see him bouncing up and down.

* * *

Penny frantically opened her kitchen cupboards in search of coffee.

_Come on, must have coffee, _need_ coffee!_

"Damn, I'm out," she sighed. "Maybe Leonard has...oh, shoot."

Leonard, Raj, Howard, and Sheldon had left early for their-as Howard put it- "Hell-like train ride," , so she was out of luck in terms of her coffee situation.

Throughout the day Penny found herself having similar disappointments, all of which involved Leonard's absence. For instance, she'd found out that she was going to be in the production of Anne Frank that she'd auditioned for. Her first thought was to tell Leonard, but again, he wasn't there. She tried not to let it bug her, but the truth was it was driving her crazy. Was it so impossible for her to enjoy herself without needing to see or hear from Leonard at some point during the day?

Penny distracted herself by calling Kim to let her know about the play. Kim had been happy for her, but it wasn't really the same as telling Leonard, who was usually quite excited for her when these things happened. Also, she'd basically had to convince Kim to come; Leonard would have agreed to go right away.

* * *

"Okay, I've got a box, but there's no key in here," Penny said into her phone as she rummaged through a box. "Just letters."

Sheldon had deemed Penny fit-or satisfactory as he'd put it-to go on a mission to send him a document on his flash drive that he'd forgotten.

_This mind does not forget, my ass!_

"That's the wrong box, put it back!" Sheldon said urgently.

This of course prompted Penny to begin reading the letters in the box. All of them were signed Mee-Maw.

"Oh, Sheldon, are these letters from your grandmother?"

"Don't read those letters!"

"Oh look, she calls you moon pie! That is so cute!"

"Put down the letters!" Sheldon screamed.

_This was too much fun._

"Hey, Penny it's Leonard."

Penny tried biting down a smile when she heard the physicist's voice. She failed miserably at this.

"Hey, Leonard, how's the train ride?"

"Delightful," said Leonard. Penny could easily tell he was lying. "Listen, I don't know what you're doing right now, but there are little bubbles forming in the corner of Sheldon's mouth."

"Okay, yeah, I kind of crossed a line, put him back on," Penny said apologetically.

"Thank you."

"I'm back," said Sheldon.

"What up, moon pie?" said Penny, holding back laughter.

"Nobody calls me moon pie, but Mee-Maw!"

And then Leonard was back, making her day enjoyable again.


	4. The Worksong Nanocluster

Hey, guys. Thanks to all my reviewers again...for you know....reviewing. I don't own anything and fun fact! When I typed Jiminy Crocket on Word, it underlined Crocket and asked if I wanted to change it to Cricket. It sort of goes with the episode joke Davy Crocket and Jiminy Cricket, so I thought some of you might enjoy that.

_Flower, barrette, rhinestones, glitter. Flower, barrette, rhinestones, glitter. _

Penny repeated this to herself as she glued the flowers to the barrettes, and then added glitter. She'd started her own business of making flower barrettes, which she called Penny Blossoms. Waitresses at the Cheesecake factory had wanted some, and now a woman wanted to sell them! Her only problem now, was that she was running out of glitter.

_Knock, knock, knock! _"Penny!" _Knock, knock, knock! _"Penny!" _Knock, knock, knock! _"Penny!"

Penny sighed as she checked her clock. It was eleven a.m. Unfortunately, she couldn't punch him in the throat today.

As she opened the door Sheldon wrapped his arm around his neck protectively. "It's eleven a.m!"

"I know, you're safe," said Penny. _For the time being. _Really, there was no telling with Sheldon.

"This package came while you were at work," said Sheldon, handing her a small cardboard box.

"Oh, great my rhinestones! Thank you," said Penny, turning to leave.

"Excuse me!"

"What?"

"You have to sign this," Sheldon explained, holding up a clipboard and a pen.

"What is it?"

"When I signed for the package I was deputized by the United Parcel Service and entrusted with this final delivery. I now need you to acknowledge receipt of the package so that I am fully identified and no longer liable."

Penny stared at him incredulously. "Sheldon, it's just a box of rhinestones!"

"Oh, the contents are irrelevant. A legal bailment has been created. Does that mean nothing to you?"

"It means nothing to anybody! Now, come here, let me show you what I'm working on!"

Penny walked back into her apartment with Sheldon following close behind, going on about that bailment or whatever he'd said earlier. Penny wasn't really in the mood to listen. Actually, she was never in the mood.

Penny started telling Sheldon about her fabulous Penny Blossoms, and how she might not need to be a waitress anymore. Sheldon, of course immediately pointed out every flaw in her business how she would end up making very little money. She decided that if she ever got a real acting job she just wouldn't mention that to Sheldon either. However, Dr. Whackadoodle had a point, so Penny was resigned to ask him for......help.

_This is gonna be a long day._

Sheldon actually proved somewhat useful in helping Penny with making her Penny Blossoms. He now had them singing songs in order to increase the speed of their work.

"Hello?"

Penny and Sheldon looked up to see Leonard, Howard, and Raj in the doorway.

"Hello," they said in unison. Then, it was back to the singing.

"Wait, wait, wait, what's going on?" asked Leonard.

"I assumed you're referring to the sea shanty," said Sheldon. "It's a rhythmic work song designed to increase productivity."

"Yeah," said Penny. "It's crazy, but it totally works. Look! We made this Penny Blossom in under three minutes!"

"Terrific, but that kind of raises more questions than it answers," said Leonard, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, mesmerizing Penny.

_Stop it! Or that hour long focus exercise Sheldon put you through will be shot to hell!_

"Alright, break's over!" said Sheldon.

Penny went back to singing and gluing.

"Wait, hold on," Howard interrupted. "What are you using as a bonding agent?"

"Hot glue," replied Sheldon.

"You're kidding!"

And it began. The boys started taking over. Discussing.....well, Penny wasn't really sure, but she knew it was supposed to be helping her business so she really didn't care.

"To start with," said Sheldon, as Penny tried for the forty-second time to understand the conversation. "She has a terrible problem with moisture induced glitter clump."

"Yeah, it's a bitch," agreed Penny.

"Oh, I've seen this before," said Howard, looking knowingly at a container of glitter.

"Where?" asked Leonard.

"It's a common stripper problem. They dance, they sweat, they clump."

"Ew," said Penny, nauseated.

Leonard had Penny lost again as he went on to ask Howard about.....well, something about calcium, but Penny couldn't see how milk was related to any of this.

Suddenly, Sheldon began assigning tasks to everyone. Again, Penny didn't understand most of the jobs. Although, she was pretty sure Leonard was making a website, and Sheldon was moving everything over to his apartment, which to Penny seemed excessive.

"Wait, wait, what am I gonna do?" Penny asked, as the boys began to leave.

"Hey, it's your business do whatever you want!" Leonard called back as he entered the hallway.

"Okay, cool," said Penny. "I'm gonna take a nap."

"I'm still tweaking things a little, but this should give you a general idea of the website," said Leonard.

Penny was leaning over his shoulder to get a good view of the computer screen. Unfortunately, she wasn't all that thrilled with what she saw.

"So, what do you guys think?" asked Leonard. Penny hated the hopeful note in his voice.

Raj whispered something in Howard's ear, to which he replied, "No, pretty much any way I say that is gonna hurt his feelings."

"Okay, what's wrong with it?" Leonard sighed.

"What's wrong with it?" Sheldon began, critically.

"Not you! I wasn't asking you!" Leonard snapped.

_Don't ask me! Don't ask me! Don't ask me!_

"Penny?"

_Damn!_

"Well, it's a little juvenile," said Penny. "I mean, it kind of looks like the MySpace page of a thirteen year old girl."

"No I doesn't," said Leonard.

_It's your own fault, Leonard! I inwardly told you not to ask me, you should've picked up on that!_

"Ah, please. Dateline could use it to attract predators," said Howard.

"Penny, this is ultimately your enterprise, but based on his performance, I'm strongly recommending we let Leonard go," said Sheldon.

_I can't fire Leonard!_ Sure, the website was sort of....yeah, the website sucked, but that was no reason to fire Leonard. Besides, they were barely just starting to work and if Penny had thought that Sheldon was bad while it was just the two of them working in her apartment, then it was going to get a lot worse with all five of them working in _his_ apartment. She needed Leonard there for support.

"You want to fire me?" asked Leonard incredulously.

"What I want is irrelevant, this is Penny's decision," said Sheldon. Turning to her said, "Penny," strongly indicating that if Leonard wasn't fired then she would be....even though this was _her_ business, Sheldon would find a way.

"Excuse me, but if I did such a bad job, then why do we already have orders?" said Leonard smugly.

"We do?" Penny asked surprised.

And they did. Gay, lesbian, and many other people were throwing a large gathering and had ordered one thousand Penny Blossoms. Unfortunately, that's where the good news ended. Leonard, poor Leonard, who was trying so hard, had offered a one day rush on all orders of Penny Blossoms. So now, they had to make one thousand Penny Blossoms by the end of the day.....because Sheldon wouldn't allow them to cancel the order. He'd said something about Jiminy Crocket or whoever and somehow that had convinced her........plus, the fact that she could buy tons of shoes with the money she earned.

Things weren't going too badly at first. Everyone kept working non-stop. It wasn't until Sheldon fell asleep that they ran into some problems.

"Honey, do you want some coffee?" Penny asked, once she'd woken him up.

"No, I don't drink coffee."

"Well, come on, if you don't stay awake we'll never finish in time!"

"I'm sorry, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother I wouldn't start doing drugs."

"Leonard help!" said Penny. _And this is why you don't fire Leonard._

"Yeah, Sheldon, we still have three hundred and eighty of these things to make," Leonard tried reasoning with him.

"And I have complete faith that you will make them, goodnight," said Sheldon, getting off the couch and heading for his bedroom.

"Leonard!" Penny pleaded.

"Yeah, yeah," said Leonard tiredly. "But Sheldon without your insight and leadership this entire enterprise will surely fail!"

"You're right of course," said Sheldon, re-entering the living room.

_Yes! Thank you, Leonard!_

"Here, this will help," said Penny, offering Sheldon a cup of coffee. Doing so was a very bad idea.

Within a half hour, Sheldon was bouncing off the walls, shouting nonsense, and ultimately not helping at all.

Penny sat next to Leonard on the couch, exhausted. As, she slowly made her Penny Blossoms, she considered just letting her head fall on Leonard's shoulder and going to sleep. He had a very comfortable looking shoulder. He'd think it was an accident, no one would have to know she'd done it on purpose!

"Bam!" Sheldon shouted his new word obsession of the hour.

Penny hurriedly began refocusing on the Penny Blossoms.

Finally, they somehow finished. Finished making, as Howard put it, "One thousand friggin' Penny Blossoms."

Unfortunately, once again, the good news didn't last. One thousand more Penny Blossoms were ordered. But, this time, Sheldon wasn't sane enough or was more insane than usual, to convince them to keep going. So, naturally, they gave up.


	5. The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

**Alright, thanks to everyone who reviewed. Again, I don't own anything. Oh, and on a not unrelated topic I now hate the word axiomatically.**

Penny looked at herself in the mirror, trying to make herself look presentable in the large, white T-shirt and sweat pants she was wearing. She was sort out of clean clothes....again, so she had to resort to this. It didn't really matter though, she didn't have to go anywhere today, she just had to go get her mail and that would be it. Plus, she wouldn't let anything put a damper on her mood, for, Howard Wolowitz was longer planning on moving in to 5A! Since the old residents had moved out, Howard had very wrongly assumed that he was the ideal new tenant for that apartment. Sheldon had calmed down significantly afterwards, figuring that since he knew Howard that he could easily demand quiet from him, but Penny had been horrified. Wolowitz living in the same building as her! She wasn't sure if she'd be all that comfortable with him living on the same street as her. Fortunately, his mother had cancelled all plans of him moving out, so she could rest easy.

Penny exited her apartment too see Leonard-well, Leonard behind a giant box he was holding-, Sheldon, and a tall, blonde woman she didn't know.

"Oh, hey, guys," she said.

"Oh, hey, Penny, this is Alicia, our new neighbour," said Leonard, his sticking out from behind the box. Penny tried not to laugh.

"Hi!"

"Hi," said Alicia amiably.

"I'm helping," said Leonard proudly.

"I can see," said Penny smiling.

"Alicia's non-musical, childless, and pro-rug!" said Sheldon, his voice bubbling with excitement. "She's still on probation, of course, but I like her."

"Cool T-shirt," said Alicia, pointing at Penny's, clearly, unflattering shirt.

"Oh, I don't usually dress like this, I'm...going jogging," Penny lied, proud she'd been able to form an excuse in less than ten seconds.

"You don't jog," said Sheldon.

"I can start!" Penny snapped.

"True, but the more likely explanation for your attire is that you're out of clean clothes again."

"Thank you, Sheldon!" _God, does he always have to do that!_

"You're welcome, Penny." _Of course he does._

"Please, you look cute, I'm dressed like a slob today, too," said Alicia, pointing at her pretty, pink top and tight blue jeans.

Penny chuckled darkly. This new girl was starting to grate on her nerves.

"I think you look fantastic!" said Leonard.

Penny frowned.

"This one's a player, huh?" laughed Alicia.

"Oh, yeah, be careful," said Penny sarcastically.

"Thanks for the warning, I'll see you around."

"See ya," said Penny through gritted teeth.

Alicia continued up to the next floor, followed closely behind by Leonard who almost hit Penny with his box.

"I'm dressed like a slob today, too," Penny mimicked, very irritated.

"Oh! Mimicry! I enjoy mimicry," said Sheldon. "I've been working on Admiral Ackbard from Return of the Jedi. _It's a trap!_"

Penny stared at Sheldon incredulously.

"You have to imagine me with a giant squid head," Sheldon explained.

Penny headed downstairs, not wanting to hear Sheldon do anymore Star Wars impersonations. Alicia had done the supposedly impossible and ruined her good mood. And so had Leonard, stupid Leonard, fawning all over a girl like that.

Penny knocked on Leonard's door, wearing a new blouse and pants.

"Come!" Sheldon called.

"Hey," said Penny, entering the apartment.

"Congratulations, I see you did your laundry," said Sheldon.

"Well, sort of."

"How does one sort of-

"I bought new clothes, okay?" Penny snapped. "Is Leonard around?"

"He's upstairs at Alicia's." Sheldon replied.

"Oh," said Penny frowning. "Alright, that's cool, no biggy. He said he'd set up my printer, but, I guess I can wait.......what exactly is he doing up there?"

"From what I can only perceive as a tactical move to destroy me, he is with Wolowitz and Koothrapali setting up her stereo."

"Oh, they're all up there, huh? Hmm, typical."

"It's axiomatically a-typical," corrected Sheldon. "Up until recently they did not know Alicia and had no encounters with her in her previous location and they never went upstairs to visit the former tenants."

_Yeah, yeah, just make me feel more jealous-which I'm not jealous. Not jealous at all. _

Penny hurried up the stairs, trying not to trip in her painful high heels, while clutching a bottle of wine. She was off to Alicia's apartment, wearing a small, blue dress and one of her Penny Blossoms-something Alicia could not possibly possess.

"Hello!" said Penny, as she entered the apartment. Surely enough, Leonard...and Raj and Howard were there setting up Alicia's stereo.

_I bet a printer's a lot easier to put together than a stereo._

"Oh, hey!" said Alicia.

"Hey, I just wanted to bring you a little house warming gift," said Penny, handing her the bottle of wine.

"That is so sweet, come on in, let's open it."

"Great!"

"Nice dress," Alicia added.

"Oh, this? I'm dressed like a slob today!" Penny said smugly as she followed Alicia into the kitchen.

"The guys have been helping me set up my sound system," Alicia explained. "I've never had such good looking technical support."

Leonard smiled that smile he usually gave Penny from where he sat crouched over her stereo. Penny's heart did not skip a beat at that smile, but she felt a burning rage instead.

"Hey, Penny, you wanna hear something awesome?" Leonard asked, walking over.

"Yeah!" said Penny excitedly. _What's it gonna be: Star Wars? Physics? Comics? Something Alicia won't get?_

"Alicia is an actress just like you!"

_Really? Of all the times you've talked about comics, physics and sci-fi stuff you choose _now_ not to?_

"That is so awesome," mumbled Penny.

"Well, I'm trying to be, but it's so hard!" said Alicia.

"Yeah, I know, tell me about it!" _Well, she may not be so bad. Maybe I just misjudged her._

"I've been out here three months and I'll I've gotten is a couple of national commercials and this re-occurring thing on a soap." _She sucks._

"That's why I work at the Cheesecake Factory, I'm holding out for the right part!" Penny quickly clarified, draining her glass of wine.

"Alicia, what do you want as your default setting for DVD's?" Leonard asked. "5.1 Dolby or DTS?"

"Whatever you think is best, cutie," said Alicia.

Leonard chuckled, blushing.

_Cutie?! That's-that's a childish name....._

"Well, DTS has more low end so....okay."

"Oh, hey, guys, guys!" said Penny excitedly. "You will really appreciate this, I read the best science joke on the Internet! Alicia, you won't get it, but this is right up their alley! Anyways, so, this physicist goes into an ice cream parlour every week and orders and ice cream sundae for himself and then offers one to the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner finally asks him what he's doing. The man says, "Well, I'm a physicist and _quantum mechanics! _Teaches us that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman, who may accept my offer and fall in love with me! The owner then says, "Well, lots of beautiful, single come in here every day. Why don't you buy an ice cream for one of them and they might fall in love with you?" And the physicist says, "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?"

Penny's face fell when she realized that the guys now looked upset.

"It's a little insulting, don't you think?" asked Leonard.

"How would I know? I'm not even sure I get it!"

_Damn! This day can not get any worse. And it was supposed to be Happy Wolowitz isn't Moving In Day!_

"Hey, Leonard?" asked Alicia. "If you're done with the DVD player, could you set up my printer?"

"I'd love to!"

"Hey, maybe when you're done with her printer you could set up mine. You know, like you promised.....a week ago."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it don't nag me!" Leonard snapped.

Penny stared at Leonard incredulously as he continued on to set up Alicia's stupid printer. He'd snapped at her! He'd never done that before.

_Correction, _now_ this day can not get any worse._

Penny entered Leonard and Sheldon's apartment and plopped down on the couch. She'd left Alicia's very annoyed and somewhat hurt. Why were Leonard and the others just doing all that stuff for her? They wouldn't get anything out of it! Alicia was just using them.

"Who is it!" Sheldon said sarcastically. "Oh, hello, Penny, it's open, come in! Sarcasm," he clarified.

"Well, they're all still up there," grumbled Penny.

"You think I can't hear them? Listen to that: _Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!_ It's Wolowitz in his stacked heels that fool no one."

"I don't even know why I care," said Penny. "I don't care! Alright, I cared enough to memorize that stupid joke, but that's all I care!"

"You know, Penny, there's something that occurs in beehives you might find interesting," said Sheldon. "Occasionally, a new queen will arrive while the old queen is still in power. When this happens the old queen must either locate to a new hive or engage in a battle to the death until only one queen remains."

"What are you saying?" Penny demanded. "That I'm threatened by Alicia, that I'm like the old queen of the hive and that it's just time for me to go?"

"I'm just talking about bees," Sheldon replied, thoroughly confused. "They're on the Discovery Channel. What are _you_ talking about?"

"Bees," Penny lied. She leaned further back into the couch and sighed.

She wasn't just some old queen of the hive. She wasn't threatened, not at all. Alicia was just some beautiful girl who the guys thought would fall in love with them if they kept doing nice things for her, when really she wouldn't because she saw them as just a bunch of science geeks!

"Oh!" Penny gasped. "I just got that physicist joke!"

Penny passed different dishes of food from the bag of Chinese she'd bought. She was determined to get past all this Alicia stuff by proving that she was actually a friend. She had dinner with them, watched sci-fi stuff with them from time to time and even played (not to mention kicked ass) at Halo with them.

"Gee, Penny, thanks for buying us dinner," said Leonard.

"Yeah, what's the occasion?" Howard asked.

"Oh, no occasion, just felt like getting some Chinese chow for my peeps!" said Penny.

"Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced and not shredded?" asked Sheldon.

"Yes."

"Even though the menu description specifies shredded?"

"Yes."

"Brown rice, not white?"

"Yes."

"Did you stop at the green grocery and get the good hot mustard?"

"Yes."

"Did you pick up the low sodium soy sauce from the market?"

"Yes."

"Good..........you see how it's done, Leonard?"

Penny sat down, very pleased with herself. Everyone was happy, even Sheldon. Tonight was gonna be awesome.

"So, what have we got going on tonight, huh?" Penny asked. "Play some Halo? Watch some Battlestar, drop Mentos in Diet Coke?"

"You wanna watch Battlestar?" asked Leonard incredulously.

"Ah, what can I say I got my geek on boys!"

There was a knock on the door and Leonard went to answer. It was Alicia.

"Thank God you're home, I need help!" said Alicia.

"What's wrong?" Leonard asked.

"I just got a call back to audition for CSI to play a hooker who gets killed!"

"Oh, I'd watch that," said Leonard. Penny rolled her eyes.

"But my car's in the shop and I have to be at Universal in forty-five minutes!"

"Oh, I'll take you!" Leonard offered.

_No! Dammit!_

"I'll run lines with you in the car!" offered Howard.

"Great!" said Alicia. "And afterwards I'll take you all out for Chinese!"

_You have got to be kidding me._

"Actually, that's okay we already have-

"Yum!" shouted the guys, and then they were out the door.

"Chinese food right here," Penny finished.

"They're gone, Penny, they can't hear you," Sheldon clarified.

"I cannot believe they are letting her just use them like that! I mean anything she wants, they go panting after her like trained dogs! You know, just last week she had Howard drive all the way to her uncle's house in Orange County just to pick up her tv?"

"You once had Leonard and me pick up a television from your ex-boyfriend," said Sheldon.

"Apples and oranges here, Sheldon!" said Penny. _Besides, that's-that's not the same at all._ "I'm telling you, that girl is a user. Skating by on her looks, taking advantage of innocent, weak-willed men, getting auditions for stupid network shows.....it just creams my corn!"

"May I interject something here?"

"Please!"

"You got the wrong mustard."

_Of course._

Penny clumsily folded her laundry. She was still in a very bad mood over what had happened last night. Stupid Alicia with her stupid audition for a stupid show like stupid CSI, the whole thing was just.....stupid!

"Hi!" _Speak of the devil._

"Hi," said Penny, mimicking Alicia's voice. Sheldon had been right, it was very enjoyable.

"Guess what? I got the part on CSI!"

"Oh boy!" said Penny in a belittling tone.

"Something wrong?"

_Well, let's see, you've stolen Leonard....and Howard and Raj away from me, plus you're using them, you ruined our night last night and now you've gone and gotten the part on CSI, so yes, something is very wrong!_

"Oh, no! No, no, no!" Penny lied. "Congratulations, I think you'll make a great hooker!"

"Thank you!" said Alicia. "Hey, I gotta ask you something. How much do physicists make?"

"Um, I don't know, I don't think a lot," Penny replied.

"Yeah, that's what I figured. Well, gotta run, the guys promised to set up my satellite dish and paint my bedroom. Yay!"

"Um, hey, hey! Can I talk to you about that?"

"About what?"

"Well, you know, it's just that Leonard...and Howard and Raj, they aren't like other guys, they're special."

"Okay, they're special," Alicia said, shrugging. "And?"

"Ugh, okay, how can I explain this? Um, they don't know how to use their shields."

"Shields?"

"Yeah, you know like in Star Trek when you're in battle and you raise the shield- Penny did a double take and her eyes widened. _Whoa!_ "Where they hell did that come from? Anyways, you know how guys like this are, so please don't take advantage of them."

"Who says I'm taking advantage of them?" Alicia demanded, sounding insulted.

"Come on, they're doing everything for you 'cause you're leading them on."

"So, I let them do stuff for me. They're happy, I get stuff, who cares? And how's it any different from what you do?"

_She did not just go there._

"Excuse me?" asked Penny.

"I've seen you around them. Are you pretending like you don't do the exact same thing?"

"Okay, lady, you are way out a line," said Penny, going nose to nose with Alicia.

"Oh, _I'm_ out a line?"

"Yeah, you're out a line."

"Well, what're you gonna do about it....bitch?"

Penny gaped. _Alright, I think I've restrained myself long enough, it's time to go all Nebraska on her ass!_

Penny and Alicia ended up rolling around on the floor, throwing punches and scratches at one another. It wasn't until Leonard starting shouting that they had to stop. Although, he'd been trapped in Howard's grasp, he'd been able to verbally stop the fight. Penny, despite all the injuries, had become deliriously happy when Leonard defended Penny the entire time Alicia had blamed her. She'd ended up storming off to her apartment. Now, they were all back in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment like they were supposed to be.


	6. The Hofstadter Isotope

**Again, thanks to everyone who's reviewed. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been really busy. But, here's the next chapter. Also, does anyone know what a multi-verse is? It's really bugging me now.**

**I don't own anything.**

Penny trudged up the stairs, finally reaching the fourth floor. She'd been working all day and was dead-tired. She just wanted to flop down on her couch, watch TV, and down one or two, maybe three, glasses of wine. Unfortunately, she had to go out again before she could do any of that. She had to get her nephew a birthday present, but she had no clue what he wanted. Penny didn't see him very often, so all she really knew was that he was turning thirteen and that his father might be her friend Dan from high school.

At that moment, Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and Raj exited 4A.

"Hey, guys, where are you headed?" Penny asked.

"To the comic book store," Sheldon replied. "You're probably thinking: "The comic book store? On a Thursday? Well, I've fallen down the rabbit hole and into a land of _madness!_""

_What the hell does Alice and Wonderland have to do with any of this?_

"What you've failed to take into account Penny," Sheldon continued. "Is that this is Anything Can Happen Thursday!"

"You got me," said Penny sarcastically. "Oh, hey! While you're there could you pick me up a few comics for my nephew's birthday?"

"I think you mean comic _books_," Sheldon corrected her. "Comics are feeble attempts at humour featuring talking babies and anthropomorphized pets, found traditionally in the optimistically named "funny pages"."

"Leonard, could _you _pick me up a few comics for my nephew's birthday?" Penny asked.

"Sure, what does he like?" Leonard asked.

"I don't know, he's thirteen, just pick out anything," said Penny, turning to head into her apartment. She really wanted that couch, and TV, and wine.

"Just pick out anything?" Sheldon asked, shocked.

_Oh for the love of God!_

"Maybe at the same time we could pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size!"

_Probably would've ended up doing that, anyway._

"Or pick out his career for him without knowing his aptitude or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fibre requirements. Or his feelings about little marshmallows."

"Spider-Man, get him Spider-Man!" said Penny, still clinging to the feeble hope of getting her perfect evening.

"Amazing Spider-Man? Ultimate Spider-Man? Spectacular Spider-Man? The Marvellous Adventures of Spider-Man? Spider-Man 2099?"

"Leonard?" Penny whined desperately.

"You know this can go on all night, why don't you just come with us?" Leonard suggested.

"Ugh, that's what I was trying to avoid," Penny sighed, following Leonard, Howard, and Raj as they headed down the stairs.

"Oh, I forgot Sensational Spider-Man!" said Sheldon.

_I'm gonna need four glasses of wine when I get home._

* * *

Penny followed Leonard into the comic book store, looking around. She'd heard a lot about it, but she'd never seen it before. In fact, until she'd met the guys she hadn't realized that there were whole stores dedicated to comic books. The store was nice, though, having just a few more action figures and posters than Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

"Oh, what a cute little store."

Dozens of heads shot up to stare at her she spoke; eyes wide with confusion.

"Everyone's staring at me," Penny whispered, shuffling closer to Leonard.

"Don't worry," Leonard reassured her. "They're more scared of you, than you are of them."

"Unlikely."

Penny walked over the shelf of comics Sheldon was examining and picked one up at random.

"Here, how about this one for my nephew?"

"A superb choice," said Sheldon.

"Oh great!"

"Provided he has already read Infinite Crisis, and Fifty-Two, and is familiar with the re-establishment of the DC multi-verse."

"What's a multi-verse?"

"Get her out of here," Sheldon told Leonard.

"Come on, I'll help you pick something," said Leonard, leading her over to another shelf.

Penny looked through the selection, thoroughly confused. All the comics looked the same. They all had pictures of some superhero doing some super job. What was the difference?

"Oh, hey, Leonard! Can I help you find something?"

Penny looked up to see a young guy walking towards them. He had curly, brown hair and was wearing a plaid hoodie.

"Oh, hey, Stuart," said Leonard. "This is Penny, she's just looking for some comic books."

"Oh, really? Wow, blink twice if you're here against your will!"

Penny laughed and smiled at Stuart, who smiled back.

"I think we're fine, Stuart," said Leonard.

"Okay, well, let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks," said Penny.

Stuart nodded, smiling again, and then walked back to the front counter.

"Oh, he seems like a nice guy."

"You mean for someone who into comic books," Leonard clarified.

"No!" cried Penny. "No, no, no, I just meant for....yeah."

"Penny, just because people appreciate comic books doesn't make them weirdoes. Stuart's a terrific artist. He went to the Rhode Island School of Design."

"Okay, what about the guy over there with the superhero T-shirt tucked into his sweatpants?" Penny asked.

"Oh, yeah, that's Captain Sweatpants."

Penny stared at Leonard incredulously.

"He doesn't really help the point I'm trying to make."

Penny understood what Leonard meant, and she didn't just automatically assume that everyone who read comic books was weird, but she had just been pleasantly surprised by Stuart. He was a lot more confident and comfortable, than Leonard and the other guys were. Well, Wolowitz was pretty confident, but he was also gross.

Penny spent a few more minutes rifling through different comics-comic _books_-, and then gave up and headed toward the front desk, trying not to make eye contact with Captain Sweatpants.

"Excuse me?" Penny said, once she reached the counter.

"Oh, hello, again," said Stuart, smiling.

"Hi, uh, what would you recommend as a present for a thirteen year-old boy?"

"Uh...thirteen year-old girl?"

Penny laughed again.

"But, if you're dead-set on a comic book, try this," suggested Stuart, pulling a comic book off the shelf behind him and handing it to her.

"Oh, Hell Blazer, what's this about?"

"A morally ambiguous confidence man, who smokes, has lung cancer, and is tormented by the spirits of the un-dead."

"Well, if that doesn't make me the favourite aunt, I don't know what will, said Penny, handing Stuart the comic book. As she did so, she noticed a drawing on the counter. It was a drawing of a girl, a girl who looked a lot like her.

"Is this me?" Penny asked, picking it up.

"Depends," said Stuart. "Do you like it?"

"Wow, it's _really_ good."

"Yes, that's you!"

Penny laughed, smiling at him. "That's so sweet, but what if I didn't like it?"

"It'd still be you, but I'd feel like an idiot."

Once again, Penny laughed and smiled at him. "So, would I be able to have this?"

"Again, depends," said Stuart. "Would I be able to get your phone number?"

Penny smiled at him and nodded. She pulled out a scrap of paper from her purse and wrote down her number, then handed it to Stuart.

"Okay, you've got my number, now give me the picture."

"Well, you drive a hard bargain, but here," he said, handing her the drawing.

"Alright, so, um, just give me a call."

Stuart nodded and smiled.

Penny smiled back.

* * *

Stuart did call. The next day, in fact. He'd invited her to an art show he had a piece in that night, and she'd accepted.

"So, you should be warned, that I'm quite a celebrity at these things," Stuart said, as Penny grabbed her purse.

"Really?" Penny asked him.

"No, but I like the think I am. It helps my self-esteem," Stuart chuckled.

Penny giggled, and they exited her apartment. The guys were out in the hallway, about the enter 4A. Penny frowned when she saw Leonard. She didn't know why, but she suddenly felt uncomfortable being around Leonard with Stuart.

"Oh, hey, guys," she said.

"Oh, hey, Penny," said Leonard, smiling. "And, Stuart, hey, _Stuart._"

"Hey, guys," Stuart said, waving.

"So, what are you kids up to?" asked Howard.

"Stuart has a piece in an art show that's opening tonight," Penny explained.

"And you guys are going together, greaaaaat," said Leonard, looking uncomfortable.

Penny looked down at her feet, feeling even worse. She could tell Leonard was jealous and it really bothered her. She didn't want him to feel that way, since it clearly made both of them upset.

"It is great," said Stuart. "Really great. It's freaking awesome! So, what are you guys doing?"

"Oh! It's Friday night that means Chinese food and vintage video games, right?" cried Penny, grateful for the topic change.

"Vintage doesn't even begin to describe what we have planned," said Sheldon, his face lighting up. "Tonight we are playing the classic 1980 interactive text adventure: Zorc. It's the buggy beta version."

"Wow, Zorc. Well, you guys have fun," said Penny.

"See ya, guys!" said Stuart as he followed Penny down the stairs.

Penny didn't dare look at Leonard as she passed him. The talk of video games hadn't removed the frown from his face and she hated that.

_Just forget about it. Don't let it ruin your night. Soon he'll be playing Zorc and he won't even be thinking about my date with Stuart.....probably......_

* * *

Penny stood next to Stuart in front of his drawing, which was pinned up on one of the walls. It was a picture of the inside of the comic book store. Stuart had explained that he'd been working on detail and shadow in that one.

So far, not many people had come, but Stuart seemed very excited, so apparently this was a great turn out.

"Oh, boy," Stuart sighed.

"What?" Penny asked.

"Captain Sweatpants is here."

"What's so bad about that?"

"I kinda promised him that the next picture I put in an art show would feature him in it."

"And you didn't."

"Well, I had the option of either being nice to him and putting him in my drawing or being nice to everyone else and not putting him in my drawing in great detail."

"Yeah, I think you did us all a favour there."

"Hopefully, he'll be too distracted by the buffet to actually come look at my picture."

Penny laughed. She was having a nice time. Things were going fine.

* * *

"You know, it's kind of early, do you wanna, maybe come in for some coffee or something?" Penny asked, opening the door to her apartment.

Overall, her date with Stuart had been quite nice. Now, she was interested to see where it might go.

"Oh, gee, it's a little late for coffee, isn't it?" Stuart asked, checking his watch.

"Oh, you think coffee means coffee, that is so sweet," said Penny, thinking about how Leonard would have made the same mistake. Not that she would have invited Leonard over for coffee that wasn't coffee and whatever else might have followed.

_Stop thinking about him!_

"Come on, I think I have decaf."

"Oh, good, Stuart! I thought I heard your voice, do you have a moment?"

_No! Sheldon! Go away!_

"Uh, yeah, I guess," said Stuart.

_Boy, this guy has a lot to learn._

"Sheldon, we're a little busy here," said Penny impatiently.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"We're having coffee," replied Stuart.

"Isn't it a little late for coffee?"

"It's okay, she thinks she has decaf."

_Oi._

"I'll just go look for it." Penny sighed, entering her apartment.

Great. So, once again Sheldon had ruined something. She should have known this would happen. She felt pretty stupid she hadn't foreseen this, actually.

Penny opened up her cupboard and rummaged through the different until she found what she was looking for.

"I found the decaf!"

"Oh, great!" called Stuart.

"Herbal tea for me, please," said Sheldon, entering her apartment with Stuart.

Sheldon and Stuart continued their debate while they drank their coffee and tea. Penny sat on the couch, very irritated. She had been following the conversation at first, but she had soon become lost, so she gave. Apparently they were talking about Robin from Batman, and all she knew about him was that he had looked pretty darn good in which ever Batman movie it was that Jim Carrey had starred in.

"Sheldon, shouldn't you be getting back to Leonard and the guys and Zorc?" Penny asked.

"Oh, sadly, our adventure with Zorc had to be postponed, due to the fact that Wolowitz, Koothrapali, and Leonard abandoned me," sighed Sheldon.

"_Abandoned_?"

"Yes, abandoned. It means to leave somebody behind."

"I know what it means, Sheldon!" Penny snapped. "I wanted to know where they went."

"They went to a bar to meet "hot women"."

Penny's eyes widened.

"When you say they went to a bar to meet hot women, you mean Wolowitz dragged them along to watch as he got rejected by hot women, right?"

"While I'm positive Wolowitz will be rejected multiple times tonight, he dragged no one anywhere. All are going by their own free will. Though as to why they did so, still baffles me. Now, please, Penny, I'm having an important discussion, no more interruptions."

Penny rolled her eyes and sighed. So, Leonard had gone to a bar.....to meet hot women. There was nothing wrong with that. Leonard was trying to meet someone and that was great-that was _awesome__!_ And, it wasn't like it was going to amount to anything, anyways. Though, as to why a woman wouldn't want to date Leonard, was confusing. He was a very sweet guy. He was good looking and funny, and, of course, he was smart. Very smart. Too smart to be wasting his time with women he met in bars!

Penny snatched a magazine off of her coffee table and began flipping through it. She needed to distract herself. This proved to be very difficult. She couldn't concentrate on what she was reading. Every time she got interested in an article and started reading, her mind always drifted back to Leonard. Leonard hanging out with women at a bar, being the wonderful guy he always was. Leonard kissing a women at bar the way he'd kissed her the night his mother had been visiting. Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, that's all she could think about. And these thoughts plagued her mind until she fell asleep.


	7. The Vegas Renormalization

**Okay, so this chapter is pretty short compared to the other ones and that is because, well, there isn't really that much to work with in this episode, so I'm trying to get by it as best I can. Thanks to webuiltthepyramids for helping me conquer my writer's block for this, it was very helpful. Also, thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, I hope you enjoy this chapter. And sorry I haven't updated in a really long time. I don't own anything.**

Penny could not believe it. She was stuck in her apartment with Sheldon all night and probably would be all morning, as well. Leonard, Howard, and Raj had gone off to Las Vegas to cheer Howard up about his break-up with Leslie Winkle, and Dr. Sheldon Cooper who never, ever, ever, _ever_ forgets anything _forgot_ the keys to his apartment in his apartment. So, Penny had had no choice but to let Sheldon spend the night in her apartment. It was not going well. It was like babysitting your annoying brother: you love him, but you can't spend that much time alone with him without snapping.

Penny sat across the table from Sheldon, who was picking at his "freedom food" restlessly, still unhappy about the fact that he had to dine in the likes of her apartment. She wasn't happy about it either.

"So, how was your day?" Sheldon asked.

Penny raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Are you trying to make...small talk? Oh, sweetie, you really don't have to." _And I'd really rather you not._

"No, it's the accepted convention," Sheldon pointed out. "_How was your day?_"

"Well, they shifted my schedule around at the restaurant, so my hours are gonna be a little different now-

"I'm sorry, that's not going to interest me at all, just eat," Sheldon interrupted, returning to his dinner.

Penny glared at him and rolled her eyes. This was all the guys' fault. If they hadn't gone to Vegas, then she wouldn't be stuck with Dr. Whackadoodle. It had surprised her when Sheldon had informed her they were going to Las Vegas. It was rather unusual behaviour for them. True, she had never seen what any of them were like post-break-up, but she hadn't pegged them as the type to run off to Nevada. It bugged her a little bit, and she knew why. The reason it bugged her bugged her even more. She knew that if only Howard and Raj had gone to Vegas, then she wouldn't have cared. Well, she might have taken the time to picture possible hilarious scenarios in her head, but she wouldn't have gotten this upset. The only reason she was annoyed now was because Leonard had gone, too. She just couldn't figure out why he was in her head so much. Almost every day she thought about him, and when she did, it made her happy. When she was actually with him she was even happier. When he was off someplace else where he could meet women, like now, she was...jealous. Whenever she became aware of these feelings, she pushed them as far away as possible. She couldn't deal with this, she didn't want to, not now.

"Okay, that's question twenty, you have to guess," said Sheldon.

Penny sighed. She was slumped on the couch, tired out by her game of twenty questions with Sheldon. "Oh...I don't know, Sheldon,...are you Star Wars?"

Sheldon stared at her incredulously. "How can one person be a whole movie?"

"Okay, I give up! Can we just do something else?" She really wasn't in the mood for anything else Sheldon might enjoy, but it had to be better than playing twenty questions.

"Fine," he said, annoyed. "I was Spock."

_Wow, how did I not get _that_? _She thought sarcastically.

"Are you and Leonard friends with benefits?"

Penny's head snapped up and she turned to stare at Sheldon in shock. "What?"

"Are you and Leonard friends with benefits?" he repeated, acting as if it were the most normal question in the world.

"Where did that even come from? Did he say that we were?"

"No, Leonard said nothing, but who knows what goes on over here when he pretends your mail was miss-delivered."

"No, just mail, no benefits." _He pretends my mail was miss-delivered, what the hell does that mean? No, don't get into! Forget about it, forget about _him_ right now._

And here she'd thought that hanging out with Sheldon might take her mind off of Leonard. No, it had just made her more confused about everything. The only thing she was sure about was that she could not wait for that experimental physicist to get home.

**Okay, we are past that. Now we can move on to the fun stuff! Hopefully I'll have that posted soon.**


	8. The Classified Materials Turbulence

**Alrighty, here's the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait there. It takes me a while to set up the DVD player a re-watch these in snippets to get all of the dialogue right, so that's why I usually procrastinate. Anyways, there will be two more chapters after this, which, hopefully, I'll have up soon...please don't hold me to that. Also, I don't own anything...I'm getting a guilty urge to throw Steve from my other fic into this story just so I can own something.**

Penny sat on her couch, mindlessly flipping through the channels on TV. She was pretty bored; the guys were at work and it was her day off. She was slightly annoyed by the fact that she was almost incapable of enjoying herself unless she was with Leonard or any of them.

She quickly jumped off the couch when the phone rang, praying that it would bring something for her to do. She was surprised to hear who it was when she answered.

"Hey, Stuart," said Penny.

"Hi."

"What's up?" she asked, when he didn't speak again.

"Well, I was just wondering, if you weren't busy, if maybe you'd like to go out again."

Penny's eyes widened slightly. She wasn't sure why Stuart asking her out again surprised her; the first one had gone pretty well, if you didn't include Sheldon's interruption. However, she honestly hadn't thought much about the comic bookstore owner since then, and with all the weird stuff that was going on with Leonard...but, maybe this was a good thing. A chance to get past all these strange thoughts and feelings with Leonard. Plus, Stuart was a great guy; there was no reason to not go on a date with him.

"Sure," Penny agreed, smiling. "That sounds great."

* * *

Penny entered the apartment building and felt of wave of relief when she saw Leonard getting his mail. She'd been worrying about him all day, ever since she agreed to a second date with Stuart. While, at first, she'd been happy and excited, now she was completely stressed out, remembering how Leonard had reacted to the first date with Stuart.

"Hey, Leonard!" she said, joining him and the mailboxes.

"Hi," he said, a smile taking over his face. She tried not to notice it.

"How's it going?" she asked, unlocking her mailbox.

"Good, good. You?"

"Fine. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You know your friend, Stuart?"

"Yes." There it was. The awkward, pained expression that she was hoping she wouldn't have to see again. Even mentioning Stuart made him uncomfortable.

"Well, he asked me out again and I said yes, and then I started thinking that maybe I should talk to you first," she explained.

"About what?" he asked.

"Well, does it bother you? You know, me going out with one of your friends? 'Cause, you know, you and me-"

"No! No. That's...the past!" said Leonard, waving it off.

Penny frowned. She'd been expecting...hoping for a different answer.

"I'm really more of a right now kind of guy," Leonard forged on. "You know, livin' in the moment. Although, I do have to live a little in the future, 'cause, well, that's my _job_. Of course, my fondness for classic science fiction does draw my attention backwards, but those stories often take place in the future, so...in conclusion, no, it doesn't bother me."

"Okay," said Penny, frowning as she followed him up the stairs. "Well, that's really cool of you."

"Yeah? Well, I wouldn't say cool, I'd just say, "That's Leonard!"

Penny sighed, slightly annoyed. She didn't like this. She hated how they always concealed their true feelings about things and couldn't talk about them. But, maybe, that was for the best. Maybe, this was both their chance to move on.

"Well," said Penny, praying that this next question wouldn't cause further awkwardness, though, the odds were not in her favour. "In that case, would you mind giving me some advice?"

"About Stuart? _Love_ to." _Damn it._

"He's very shy," she explained, trying to ignore anything painful that entered the conversation. "How do I make him feel more comfortable around me?"

"Well, first of all, don't underestimate the value of discomfort."

"Really?" Penny found that hard to believe, but Leonard wouldn't lie to sabotage her date.

"Oh, yeah, Stuart thrives under pressure. That's why he works at a comic book store."

* * *

Penny and Stuart downed another glass of wine, laughing hysterically afterwards. Penny had followed Leonard's advice, sort of pressuring him to feel more comfortable...with wine, which wasn't only to help extinguish Stuart's discomfort.

"Oh, the bottle's empty!" Stuart laughed, holding up the empty wine bottle, as if to prove that he was right.

"We've only had one, let's order another!" Penny giggled, slamming her hand on the table.

"No, we've had two...yeah, pretty sure we've had two...'cause I'm definitely too drunk to have only had one...plus, I've gotta drive...I probably shouldn't drive...I forget where I parked..." Stuart rested his face on his hands, looking thoughtful.

"I remember where! Let's go!" Penny shouted, grabbing Stuart's arm and leading him out of the restaurant. She had to wait impatiently a moment, while Stuart paid, but then she went right back to towing him out to the parking lot.

Penny immediately started kissing Stuart as soon as they got in the back of his car. If this didn't make him more comfortable, she didn't know what would. She knew that drunken hook-ups weren't the best way to begin a relationship, but sometimes they just offered the proper insight one needed to get relaxed and understand what they wanted. Besides, it wasn't like she made a habit of doing this. The last time she could remember being drunk and making with someone was when she was with...Leonard.

Suddenly, she was back there, in her apartment, making out with Leonard on her couch, the lime abandoned on the floor. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she smiled into his lips. She could feel his hand on her knee, his thumb stroking it. She flung her baseball cap off, letting her hair fall down. Leonard's hands immediately went to her face, and he ran them through her hair, moving his mouth to her neck. Penny moaned and pushed his arms back for a moment, pulling off his jacket and sweater. Obviously encouraged by the removal of clothing, Leonard fell on top of Penny, his kissing becoming more fierce. They started laughing and broke apart for a moment. She smiled up at him and then pulled him off the couch.

"What are you doing?" Leonard asked, still chuckling.

Penny answered by wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing him, and then pulling him towards her bedroom. He did not object.

They fell onto her bed, still kissing and laughing. Deciding to take things farther, Penny pulled off her sweater, and moaned when Leonard started kissing her shoulders and down her side. She unzipped his pants while he did this and let them slide to the floor. Leonard eagerly reciprocated.

They rolled around under the covers, moaning and kissing. Penny's hand travelled up and down Leonard's back, sometimes going under his shirt. Suddenly, Leonard placed both hands on either side of her face and gave her one fierce kiss that sent her pulse racing.

"Leonard," she sighed, resting her head against his forehead.

"What?"

Penny was snapped back to reality, back to Stuart's car, and back to Stuart, whose eyes were wide with shock and confusion.

"Did...did you just say _Leonard_?" he asked, incredulously.

"I...I said Leonard?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Stuart nodded vigorously, clearly anxious for an explanation.

She'd said Leonard? Out loud? She'd thought that was only in...wherever exactly her subconscious had taken her. But, she _had_ said it. Why? It was sort of stupid question. She knew why. Because Leonard was the one she wanted to be kissing.


	9. The Monopolar Expedition

**I still own nothing, enjoy!**

_Knock, knock, knock _Penny?

_Knock, knock, knock _Sheldon?

_Knock, knock, knock _Penny?

_Knock, knock, knock _Sheldon?

Penny could barely keep herself from laughing as she continued to screw up Sheldon's knock. The confusion and distress in his voice wasn't helping her keep a straight face.

_Knock, knock, knock Penny!_

_Alright, he's had enough._ Penny opened her apartment door and smiled sweetly at Sheldon. "What do you want?"

"I need access to The Cheesecake Factory's walk-in freezer," Sheldon stated simply.

"No, honey, I already told you, the hamburger meat is fresh and stored at a safe temperature," she sighed.

Sheldon shook his head. "No. This is to train for a three month expedition to the magnetic North Pole."

"What?" Penny asked, shocked.

"I don't know how that sentence could possibly confuse you, but to elaborate I am going to the Arctic Circle with Leonard, Wolowitz, and Koothrapali."

"You're all going?" she asked, frowning slightly.

"Yes."

"For three months?"

"Yes."

"Excuse me." Penny walked past Sheldon and headed towards his and Leonard's apartment, ignoring the theoretical physicist's complaints about her sudden departure. She didn't care, though. She was unconvinced that Leonard would just fly off to the freaking _North Pole_ for three months without telling her. Sheldon was obviously just mentioning something they were discussing, not something they were actually doing.

"Hey, Leonard," Penny said as she entered the apartment and he came down the hall carrying a sweater.

"Hi," said Leonard smiling at her.

"Sheldon says you're going to the North Pole."

"Yeah! Pretty cool, huh?"

Penny raised her eyebrows in alarm, a million thoughts rushing through her head. That wasn't supposed to be his answer! He was supposed to explain that Sheldon was just confused, and then Sheldon would get mad, and then they'd argue, and nobody would be going to the freaking North Pole for three months!

"Yeah!" Penny lied, trying to sound excited as she hurried to reply. "I'm just a little surprised you didn't tell me." _And really shocked and annoyed you didn't tell me!_

"Oh, well, it all happened kind of fast," Leonard explained, beginning to jot down notes on a pad of paper he'd retrieved from the suitcase on the couch. "I mean, we had to get physicals, and buy thermal underwear, and study up on...ya know, snow and stuff. Sorry, I was gonna tell you."

"Oh, hey, you know you don't have to apologize...there was no reason you had to tell me. I was just...ya know, surprised!" Penny felt her voice crack slightly on that last word and frowned slightly. She didn't like this! She was _not_ okay with this!

"Yes, yes, you were busy, you were surprised," said Sheldon, dismissively waving a hand at Leonard and then Penny. "Now where do we stand on the freezer?"

"Is he serious?" Penny asked Leonard.

"Actually, it would help," he nodded.

She sighed. "Alright, I'll see what I can do." Actually, she didn't want to see if she could do anything to help on their stupid arctic expedition. What? They just thought they could get off with not telling her about their little trip and then use her to get to a large walk-in freezer? But, she kept her mouth shut and busied herself with examining the various items that covered their couch. Snowsuits, gloves, boots. She picked up one of the boots and started looking it over, although she was barely paying any attention. "So, wow, three months at the North Pole. Wow, that is..._awesome_!"

"Yeah," Leonard agreed, grinning.

"I'm sorry, but when do you put this "see what you can do plan" into action?" Sheldon asked impatiently.

Penny frowned, getting more upset by the second. "Just a warning, Sheldon: the freezer locks from the outside." She continued to glare at him as she exited their apartment.

She hurried across the hall and quickly closed the door behind her. She let out a frustrated sigh and then flopped onto the couch, covering her face with her hands. How could he just casually inform her that he would be spending the next three months away from her! And she'd had to hear about it from Sheldon! _Sheldon!_ He'd just confirmed that they were going because he didn't have the time to tell her himself! He was too busy with his silly preparations to realize that she might have wanted to know that little tidbit of information. Yes, he was just far too preoccupied to consider the fact that she didn't want to go three months without seeing him or talking to him.

Penny sighed and sat up. That part wasn't Leonard's fault. That was her fault for not telling him how she felt. During her second date with Stuart, Penny had accepted the fact that she had feelings for Leonard. She'd had her suspicions for awhile, but that incident had confirmed it. Confirming her feelings hadn't made things any easier, though. On the contrary, things had become much harder. Whenever she was around Leonard she would catch herself just staring at him, wondering what it would be like if they actually tried being in a relationship. The idea both excited and frightened her. Penny would get caught up in her fantasies about dating Leonard and her worries about losing a great friend if things went wrong. Then, she would get completely embarrassed because Leonard would ask her if she was okay because she'd been staring at him for five minutes!

"This is so stupid!" Penny groaned. She'd never been so infatuated with someone before. She'd never felt this strongly about...anything. But could she risk trying this out?

* * *

Penny stood outside of The Cheesecake Factory's walk-in freezer, tediously inspecting her fingernails. Her manager had given the guys the green light to use the freezer on the one condition that Penny stand outside and listen for the sounds of heavy machinery. Obviously, Sheldon and her manager had had numerous discussions that she'd been unaware of.

She glanced at the lock on the freezer door and then shook her head. That wouldn't be fair to Leonard, Howard, and Raj.

Suddenly, the freezer door swung open and the guys came bustling out, clad in their large, red snowsuits.

"That was fast," Penny said in surprise.

"Yes, well, after much thought and deliberation-"

"Sheldon made an error," Howard interrupted, glaring at the theoretical physicist.

"I did not make an err-"

_ERRN!_

Howard, who was holding an Operation game board, picked up the tweezers and touched them to the metal edges.

"I wasn't wrong-"

_ERRN!_

"Stop tha-"

_ERRN!_

"Howard, you're being ridiculous-"

_ERRN!_

Sheldon stormed off, followed by Howard, who continued to make the buzzer go off, and Raj, who had a huge grin on his face.

Penny turned to Leonard and grinned. "So, that must have been fun, huh?"

"Yeah, it was great," Leonard said sarcastically. He removed his gloves and began fumbling with his coat zipper, his hands still trembling from the cold.

"Here, let me help you with that," Penny offered, stepping towards him.

"No, that's o-" Leonard broke off as Penny placed her hands on his and removed them from the zipper. She kept them there for a moment, hoping to warm his hands up a little, and then pulled down the zipper, allowing him to take of his snow suit.

"Thanks," said Leonard quietly.

Penny shrugged and smiled. "You'd better figure out how to do that by yourself, though, 'cause, ya know, I won't be there to help you with that."

Leonard smiled slightly and then sighed. "Yeah, I know."

Penny had to bite her lip to keep her from spouting out everything she was feeling. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't risk anything.

* * *

Penny lay on her couch, taking another sip of wine as she stared at the TV. There was nothing on except silly commercials, but television was the only thing that distracted her from thinking about him, and even TV didn't hold her focus for that long...that was what the wine was for. She sighed and took another sip. _I don't want him to go! I don't want him to go! _She screamed inwardly. But she couldn't tell him that. This trip was important to him and she didn't want to keep him from going. Nevertheless, she still wanted him to stay.

A commercial came on that caught her eye. It instantly made her think of Leonard. She remembered touching his cold hands at the restaurant, wishing she could be there to keep them warm. She quickly grabbed her phone and credit card and dialled the number that was flashing on the screen.

* * *

Penny entered Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, holding the blanket in one hand. She found the four guys gathered around Raj, whose parents seemed to be having an argument with Mrs. Wolowitz, who was on the phone.

"Hey, Leonard, can I talk to you for a sec?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, walking towards the door. "But let's go out here where there's a little less yelling and guilt." He followed her into the hallway and grinned. "What's up?"

"Well, I got you a little going away present," she said, smiling and handing him the blue blanket.

"Oh," he said chuckling. "A blanket."

"Oh no, no, no! Not just a blanket! See? It has _sleeves_!" Penny pulled the sleeves of the blanket up to show him and then pushed his arms through them. She couldn't hide the grin on her face, seeing him wearing the blanket and looking so adorable. "So, you can, ya know, be all snoodled up while you do your science stuff!"

"Oh wow!" said Leonard, grinning and he looked at the blanket. "Cool!"

"I'm gonna miss you." Before she knew it, she was hugging him as tightly as she could. Breathing in the smell of him, taking in his warmth, and try to take in the feeling of how his arms felt wrapped around her so that it would keep her satisfied for three months. She felt his arms drop, slightly, but she didn't dare let go, not yet. She smiled when she felt them return to their original position and hold her that much tighter. Although it all felt so good, she knew she had to let go. So she did.

"See ya later," she said, hurrying back into her apartment so that she wouldn't say anything.

* * *

Penny hurried to the door as the persistent knocking continued. She hated being waken up early, especially these days since she was so upset. She opened the door and found Leonard there, holding the blanket, and looking slightly distressed.

"Oh, Leonard, what time is it?" she asked groggily.

"Seven a.m," he replied. "I'm sorry it's early, but we're leaving soon and I needed to talk to you."

"Okay," she said, staring at him in confusion.

"What did you mean, when you said you were going to miss me?"

Penny frowned, choosing her words carefully. " Um...I don't know. You'll be gone and...I'll notice." _Poor word choice._

Leonard nodded. "Okay, well, what about this?" He held up the blanket, his hands shaking slightly, but she guessed that it wasn't from the cold. "What does this mean?"

Penny stared at the blanket for a moment, thinking back to the other night. _I wanted you to have something that reminded you of me that would keep you warm. _"Wine, credit card, and late night television are a bad combination?" She laughed slightly to try and ease the tension.

"Alright, fine. What about that really long hug? What did that mean?"

"That wasn't a long hug." Or it hadn't felt like one to her. She would have held on for much longer than that if she could have.

"It was at least five Mississippi's," Leonard pressed, sounding almost desperate. "Standard hug is two Mississippi's...tops."

"Leonard, I don't know what to tell you...it was just a hug." She shrugged and smiled at him slightly, hating that she had to lie.

Leonard nodded slowly and then gave a small smile. "Okay, glad we cleared that up."

"Yeah."

"I guess I'll see you."

"Yeah, have a safe trip."

"Thank you...bye."

"Bye." Penny shut the door and leaned her head against the door. She'd lied. She hadn't told him. She couldn't tell him. She needed to figure things out and decide what was best for them, which meant letting him go off to the North Pole for three months. She hadn't thought letting him go would hurt this much though...and he hadn't even left yet. She knew what that meant; what all of it meant. "It means I wish you weren't going."

**Okay, one more chapter after this! Very exciting!**


	10. The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

**Alright, this is the final chapter. Hope you all enjoy it. And, as usual, I don't own anything.**

The three months went by painfully slow. Everyday her thoughts were centered around Leonard: What he might be doing, how he was enjoying the expedition, and, most importantly, when he was coming home. Because when he got home...she tried not to think about it, knowing it would only make the waiting that much harder.

It hadn't taken Penny long to realize that only having Leonard as a friend wasn't going to satisfy her. Barely a week had gone by and she was already experiencing withdrawal. She needed Leonard with her, arms wrapped tightly around her like during that hug they'd shared before he left. The feelings she was harbouring for him and the happiness that ensued whenever she thought about being in a relationship with him, now over-powered the worry of what would happen if things didn't work out.

Penny was sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine when it happened. She wasn't sure who she had expected to be knocking at the door, but it wasn't the wonderful, nerdy guy she'd been longing to see all summer.

Leonard stood just outside of her apartment, a beard covering most of his face. However, she could still make out that adorable grin that she'd been missing these past three months.

"Leonard, you're back!" Penny said, hardly able to believe it. She could feel her face getting hot and her pulse increasing.

"Yeah, I just stopped by to say-"

Penny cut him off. Unable to control herself, she threw herself at him and began kissing him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she grinned into his lips as she felt his hands come to rest on her waist and he began kissing her back. She kissed him eagerly, letting all of her bottled up emotions out and loving the tingling sensation that kept shooting through her as they continued. They finally broke apart and Penny sighed contentedly as she smiled up at Leonard, their arms still around each other.

"Yeah, so, hi!" said Leonard, his expression a combination of confusion and happiness.

"Hi!" Penny pulled herself back in for another kiss and then pulled Leonard into her apartment, shutting the door behind them.

Leonard leaned against the door as Penny kissed him fiercely, not wanting to do anything else for the next few moments. Each kiss made her feel like she was on fire, making her want him even more. She'd kissed him before, but the first few, while enjoyable, had been very safe and hesitant. This was amazing. Even when Leonard's mother had visited and they'd gone to each other for comfort it hadn't felt like this.

"I missed you so much!" said Penny, breaking away for only a moment.

"I missed you, too!" said Leonard, recapturing her lips.

"I couldn't think of anyone else while you were gone!"

"Me either!" Leonard moaned slightly as he moved down to her neck. "Except for one night when the heat went out." Penny leaned back to stare at him curiously. "It's long story, just, don't ask."

He began kissing her again, which she had absolutely no problem with. Nothing could ruin how deliriously happy she felt right now.

_Knock, knock, knock _"Leonard!"

_Knock, knock, knock _"Leonard!"

_Knock, knock, knock _"Leonard!"

Except that.

"Do not make a sound!" Leonard whispered, as they pulled apart.

They waited in silence for a few seconds, and Penny thought that Sheldon might have actually gone away, but of course he hadn't.

"Whispering, "Do not make a sound." It's a sound."

Penny sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Damn his Vulcan hearing!" said Leonard, annoyed. "Not a good time, Sheldon!"

"Yeah," sighed Penny and moaned as Leonard leaned back in for another kiss. They two began backing away from the door until they were interrupted again.

_Knock, knock, knock _"Penny!"

_Knock, knock, knock _"Penny!"

_Knock, knock, knock _"Penny!"

"Ugh, this is ridiculous!" Penny groaned, angrily going to answer the door.

"Hello, Penny," said Sheldon, when she answered. "I realize you're currently at the mercy of your primitive, biological urges, but as you have an entire life time of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?"

"It's great to see you, too, come on in," she said sarcastically, moving aside to let him through.

"Wolowitz has informed me of your grand deception," Sheldon said, folding his arms as he came to stand next to Leonard. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Yes, I feel terrible about it. I will never forgive myself, I don't expect you to either, and I would really appreciate it if you would leave me with Penny for a session of self-criticism and repentance." Leonard gave Sheldon a pleading look as he finished his sentence.

"Okay, will somebody please tell me what's going on here?" Penny asked.

"What's going on," said Sheldon. "is that I was led to believe that I was making ground-breaking strides in science, while, in fact, I was being fed false data at the hands of Wolowitz, Koothrapali, and...your furry, little boy toy!"

"Is that true?" Penny asked Leonard.

"It was the only way to make him happy," he replied.

"Why did you have to make him happy?"

"Because when he wasn't happy we wanted to kill him." Sheldon stared at Leonard incredulously at that. "There was even a plan. We were going to throw his kindle outside and when he went out to get it, lock the door and let him freeze to death!"

"That seems like a bit of an over-reaction!" cried Sheldon.

"No, the over-reaction was to tie your limbs to four different sled dog teams and yell, "Mush!" Look, we kept the original data; you can still publish the actual results." Leonard said, softening his tone slightly.

"Yes, but the actual results are unsuccessful and I've already sent an email to everyone at the university, explaining that I have confirmed string theory and forever changed man's understanding of the universe!"

"Oh, yeah, see, you probably shouldn't have done that. So, write another email; set the record straight, it's not big deal."

"You're right, Leonard!" said Sheldon. "It's not a big deal. All you did was lie to me, destroy my dream, and humiliate me in front of the whole university!" Sheldon turned and walked towards the door, but then turned back. "That, FYI, was sarcasm!"

"Oh, that poor thing," said Penny as she watched him go.

"Yeah, I feel terrible," said Leonard, coming back over to kiss her.

"Wait, wait, wait!" said Penny, holding him back. "Aren't you gonna go talk to him?"

"Oh, well, he'll be fine, the guy's a trooper! Come here." Leonard gestured for her to come closer.

"No, you're right, you shouldn't talk to him, I will."

Penny walked across the hall and entered Sheldon and Leonard's apartment, where Howard and Raj sat guiltily on the couch. She hoped that if she could straighten this whole situation out quickly, then there would be no more interruptions or things getting in the way in the near future. Then, she could have Leonard all to herself.

She entered Sheldon's bedroom where he lay curled up on his bed, almost perfectly symmetrical.

"Hey," she said. "Do you want to talk?"

"About what?" asked Sheldon sadly. "Being betrayed by my friends? Spending three months at the North Pole for nothing? And I didn't even get to go to Comic-Con!" Sheldon began crying into his pillow at this.

Penny slowly eased herself on to the bed and attempted to cheer him up. That, of course, ended horribly. She, in fact, ended up making him even more sad by indirectly reminding him that he'd missed the new Star Trek movie. After that, she'd given up and left his bedroom, leaving him mumbling incoherently about how he could use the force for revenge. She really didn't want to hear about that.

Penny went and flopped down on the couch, being sure not to sit in Sheldon's spot in case he came out of his room.

The apartment was empty; she wasn't sure where the Leonard, Howard, and Raj had gone. They'd probably gone to hide somewhere. Penny realized that this was the first time she'd been in the apartment since the guys had left. Leonard had given her her spare key back after she'd forgotten it there, but...well, she'd forgotten it there again, so she hadn't had any access to the apartment. She'd missed being in here; all of the action figures and posters were very comforting to her.

Suddenly, the door opened and Leonard walked in. His beard was shaved off and his hair was cut and combed.

"Hey," he said when he saw her on the couch.

"Hey," she said, giving him a small smile.

"How's he doing?"

"How do you think?"

Leonard sighed and sat down next to her on the couch. "Yeah, I kind of figured."

"So, unhappy Sheldon was really that bad, huh?"

Leonard nodded very seriously. "We weren't actually going to tamper with the results until we found out that Sheldon was about to start up a punishment system."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Are you serious?"

"All of this would not be happening if I were not serious," said Leonard, smiling slightly.

Penny grinned back at him. Seeing that adorable smile gave her the urge to kiss him, and she thought that maybe they could still get things started after all. However, Leonard yawned suddenly and blinked sleepily. No, she should wait.

"I should probably get going," she said, moving to stand up.

"You don't have to go, you can stay," said Leonard, suddenly wide awake.

"But, you're tired," Penny pointed out, rubbing his shoulder. "You should get some sleep."

Leonard glanced down at her hand on his shoulder, looking pleasantly surprised to have it there. He shook his head. "I'm not tired," he protested, stifling a yawn as he did so.

Penny smiled at him, and Leonard grinned sheepishly back. "Go get some sleep," she repeated. He sighed and nodded.

Penny cupped the side of his newly shaven face with her hand and then gave him quick kiss. "I'm really glad you're back," she said as she got up off the couch.

"Me, too," Leonard sighed happily.

As she walked back to her apartment, Penny found herself unable to stop grinning.

* * *

Penny knocked on Leonard and Sheldon's door the next morning, a store-bought pie in her hands. Leonard answered and smiled at her.

"Hey," he said, stepping aside to let her.

"Hi-whoa..." As Penny entered the apartment she saw Sheldon standing in the kitchen, wearing a Darth Vadar helmet. "Morning, Sheldon."

Sheldon said nothing, he merely crossed his arms.

"Okay...I-oh! I got you an "I'm Sorry" pie!" said Penny, trying to get him excited. She put it on the counter in front of Sheldon. Again, the theoretical physicist said nothing. "Read it, it says, "I'm Sorry" on it." Still nothing. "In chocolate icing!" she added temptingly.

Sheldon looked down at the pie and then back up at Penny. He suddenly grabbed the box and put it in the fridge, nodding at her as he did so. Well, the pie had seemed to work, that was good. Maybe things were looking up.

Suddenly, Sheldon raised his hand and began slowly inching his thumb and index finger closer together, while staring at Leonard.

"What's he doing?" Penny asked, frowning.

"He's trying to choke me with the force," Leonard explained, sighing in frustration. On the other hand, maybe things weren't looking much better. "Come on, Sheldon. We have to get work. Could you please take a break from _choking me_, so we can go?"

Sheldon remained motionless for a moment, but then marched out the door and headed down the stairs.

"He's wearing that helmet to work?" Penny asked, raising her eyebrows.

"He's probably going to be wearing it for the rest of the week," Leonard sighed. "Well, I have to get going, so..."

Penny nodded and smiled as she walked back over to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him for a few moments. "See you later," she sighed, grinning at him when she pulled away.

"Bye," said Leonard, sounding out of breath.

* * *

"Hi," said Penny, smiling when she saw Leonard in her doorway.

"Hey," said Leonard, his grin just as big as hers. "Listen, since we got, you know, interrupted last night, I didn't have a chance to give you this." He handed her a red, velvet draw string pouch.

"Oh, Leonard, you shouldn't have," she said, opening the pouch and pulling out the contents. It was a small, glass slide... "Oh, boy!" she said, trying to sound excited. "What is it?"

"It's a snowflake," he explained. "From the North Pole."

Penny stared at him incredulously, holding the slide up to the light to try and see the snowflake. "Are you serious?"

"Uh huh. It'll last forever. I preserved it in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acidic resin, so..." Leonard nodded confidently, seeming to think that made things pretty clear.

Penny looked at him for a moment and then sighed. "Oh my God, that's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me that I didn't understand!" She smiled at him affectionately.

"It's actually a pretty simple process," said Leonard, beginning to dive into a complicated explanation.

Penny let him talk for a moment, but then she couldn't stand it any longer. He was just too adorable to ignore right now. She closed the distance between them, putting her hands at his sides and her mouth on his. Leonard seemed to have no problem with being interrupted and quickly wrapped his arms around her and started kissing her back. Penny felt that wonderful tingling sensation again and moved her arms up to his neck. In this moment she couldn't understand why she'd been so afraid of this. It was amazing!

They continued kissing until, once again, they were interrupted.

"Red alert, Leonard, Sheldon ran away!" said Howard.

Penny pulled away, cursing inwardly.

"Man, I cannot catch a break!" said Leonard in annoyance.

"Sorry, how do you know he ran away?" Penny asked, praying that this was all just a huge misunderstanding.

"Well, he's not answering his phone, he handed in his resignation at the university, and he sent me a text that said, "I'm running away."," Howard explained.

_Damn it!_

"Okay, well, thanks for letting me know," said Leonard, turning back to Penny.

"Well, Leonard, aren't you going to do something?" she asked, stopping him.

"Well, of course, I'm gonna do something," said Leonard. "Uh...Howard, you check the comic book store, Raj, go to the Thai restaurant, I'll stay here with Penny in her apartment!"

Penny was about to stop him again when his cellphone ran.

"Oh, dammit," he sighed, pulling the phone out of his pocket and reading the caller ID. "It's Sheldon's mother. "A break cannot be caught. Hi, Mrs. Cooper...he is? Sheldon went home to Texas."

_Texas? Ugh, that'll take so long! How much longer are we gonna have to wait for this?_

"Alright," Leonard sighed, hanging up his phone. "New plan: Howard, you and Raj go to Texas, I'll stay here with Penny in her apartment."

"You're not going to go with them?" Penny asked, as Leonard came towards her again.

"Well, you know, I gave you the snowflake and we were kissing, and...yeah, come on! I don't wanna go to Texas!" he said in exasperation.

Penny frowned sympathetically. She didn't want him to go either, but she knew they'd both feel guilty if he didn't.

"Oh, and I do?" Howard asked. "My people already crossed the dessert once, we're done!"

"Trust me, you'll be fine, see ya," said Leonard, entering Penny's apartment.

"Well, wait a second, Leonard, how can you not go? He's your best friend," she pointed out, following him inside.

"Well, I already saw him naked, just come here," he said, smiling at her.

Penny sighed and put her hands on Leonard's jacket. "I promise I will be here when you get back, just go help Sheldon."

"Really?" Leonard asked, sounding unsure.

"Yeah," she said. "We've waited a few months; we can wait a few more days."

Penny slid her arms past his to rest at his side, still clutching the snowflake in her hand. She covered his mouth with hers and kissed him, causing one of the most wonderful sensations to course through her body.

"Maybe you can," said Leonard, only half joking as Penny reluctantly pulled away.

She laughed and smiled at him, still holding on to him. She didn't want him to leave, but she had a feeling that the amount of interruptions they'd received these past two days were going to become much more frequent if Leonard didn't go get Sheldon.

"Go," she said, smiling at him.

Leonard sighed and left.

* * *

Penny headed up the apartment stairs slowly, trying to kill as much time as possible. Shortly after Leonard had gone to Texas, she gone out to run errands, sit in the park, she'd even gone to the comic book store for a while, anything to waste away the day.

As she reached the stairs that led up to the fourth floor she stopped and inhaled excitedly. Leonard stood at the top of the stairs with Sheldon, who was unlocking the door.

"Hey," she said, hurrying up the stairs, now wanting nothing more than to get up them as quickly as possible.

"Hey," said Leonard, a huge smile taking over his face.

"Hello," said Sheldon as he opened the door.

"Hi." That was the last thing she said.

Penny wrapped her arms around Leonard's neck and began kissing him, closing her eyes and sighing contently. She felt his arms curl tightly around her waist as he eagerly kissed her back. This was what she'd been waiting for for the past three months. This wonderful feeling of happiness that she felt whenever she was around him. A feeling, she was certain, that wasn't going to stop anytime soon because she wasn't going to let any small worries or awkward moments ruin this for her. She had him now and she wasn't going to let him go.

**So, that's it. Hope you all enjoyed it. I didn't include the sex because...well, I'm not comfortable writing that sort of thing. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**


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